Saturday, July 31, 2010


Well, I have been Missing In Action (M.I.A.) for a little over a year now. My journey lately has been a difficult one filled with loss, grief, and inner conflict... a "mid-faith crisis" as I call it.

Memorial Day marked the one year anniversary of my father's passing, a passing that has brought me much personal reflection over the last year. I always thought that my faith would ground me and my basic beliefs would become more cemented in a time of loss, but my whole theology and view of life has been challenged by my father's death.

My dad was not a religious man, but he was spiritual. Although he never joined any faith community he embraced a Unitarian Universalist view of God. When asked by my wife if he was at peace with God he claimed that he was. He always said that he had lived a full life and was not afraid of death.

My dad rejected "Evangelical Christianity". He didn't reject Christ, just the modern "American" version of the "Church". Although I have not been as dogmatic lately as I was in my know-it-all youth, without my father having a formal conversion experience I was still left with mixed feelings about my father's spiritual condition.

I had lunch recently with Timothy, a monk I have known for several years. Timothy is dealing with an illness that will eventually take his life. He is going through some of the same debilitating experiences that my dad went through and he is embracing his mortality with strength, dignity, and grace. Timothy and I talked about my dad's death and my personal mid-faith crisis. We talked about a greater grace that transcends the theologians understanding of God.

I am convinced that a greater grace exists, that my finite understanding of God does not limit His love. I am convinced the narrow minded religious zealots will be surprised when they meet God face to face and find that God Is Love!

I miss my dad, but I now have hope that we will meet some day at the Father's feet.

"He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love." (1 John 4:8)

Peace, Love, and Light!

Kevin (Cloud)